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Assertiveness Can Deter Bullying and Keep it at Bay Permanently

by Benedict_Smythe

Bullying is a serious issue whether it is practiced at home, in
school, or the community in general.  These are the common
settings for bullies but the word bullying itself is quite hard
to define.  Bullying can be classified under these
circumstances:

•Deliberate aggression or hostility towards the victim and the
aggressor feels good about doing it.

•The victim allows the aggressor to push him around, thus,
further aggression might be done.

Forms of Bullying

There are many forms of bullying.  This is not all about
gangsters hurting the geeks at school or a muscle man asking
money from people in a community.  Bullying is more than
physical; sometimes, it can be verbal such as in cases of
name-calling, non-stop teasing, sarcasm and even spreading rumors
(whether they are true or not).

Racism is also a form of bullying and many people have become
victims all because of the color of their skin or their
nationality.  Racist acts include graffiti, taunting and gestures
that are meant to offend people that are different.

A more serious form of bullying is sexual in nature.  These
sexual acts include abusive comments, homophobic abuse, or
unwarranted physical contact.

Results of Bullying

These are the most common feelings and reactions that are done
by people who are victimized by bullies:

•	Low self-esteem
•	Depression
•	Poor performance on academics
•	Isolation
•	Being shy
•	Attempted suicide

These emotions might vary when it comes to their degree of
seriousness yet all are serious and should merit immediate
attention.  
Assertiveness: An Effective Ingredient

Very little can be done about a person who harasses other people
but much can be made out of a person who is willing to stand up
for himself and put a stop to bullying.

Assertiveness is still about respect for oneself and others
(even the bully).  Assertiveness is an effective behavior that
will change the bully’s reaction towards the former victim.  Here
are some steps on how assertiveness can make the big difference:

•	The first part is knowing how to say NO.  Saying no means
being firm about it.  A former victim should know what he really
wants and listen to what his mind tells him.  No amount of
aggression should deter him to stand for himself and be resolute.
 If the bully continues with his aggressive behavior, it is
helpful if the victim would not show any signs of fear or
nervousness.

This will signal the bully that his reign is almost done and the
victim is ready to end it.  An assertive person would never give
in to pressure so no matter how much the bully taunts, it is
better to be hurt one last time than to endure lifelong assault.

•Planning for another moment of bullying and practicing how to
react would make a victim prepared and less afraid.  Having a
mindset on how to handle a certain situation does wonders.

•Assertiveness also means blocking (not dodging) all the
insults, taunting, and all other forms of negative remarks.  The
assertive individual knows how to remain levelheaded despite the
cutting remarks.

How Victims can Heal

Every victim should learn to forgive and deal with his inner
demons.  Once these negative emotions are flushed out of one’s
system, the mind can truly heal and the person can move on with
his life.  Once he shows firmness and absolute faith in himself,
no person will ever be able to touch this assertive individual.

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